let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It's never too late to be topless.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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