god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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