no. you can't hotbox the world.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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