You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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