"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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