I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
