I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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