He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
