But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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