I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
