i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
