After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dick very happy bro
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize