Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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