Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
