I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
