just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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