Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
