i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
