i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
