Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize