My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
