he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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