so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
