I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
