My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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