he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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