Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
