What did we do last night that was yellow?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
