Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
