I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
