so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
