she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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