Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
