she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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