I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
