Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just google imaged poop.
We named our party play list daddy issues
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
