Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
