David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
