I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
