i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
