And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
