Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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