He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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