Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
wrigley field is MILF paradise
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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