That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
