Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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