did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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