I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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