Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize