everyone is single if you try hard enough
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
