What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We talked him into tasing himself.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
