She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
