Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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